
I did it! Feeling good about this one. Now for the editing...
STEAMY VICTORIAN ROMANCE
A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me--a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day's blow
rang out, metallic--or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
Based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
It's the dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.
His son is working for the Daily Mail,
It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
Paperback writer
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
If you really like it you can have the rights,
It could make a million for you overnight.
If you must return it, you can send it here
But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
Paperback writer
Ladies, tonight we are going to talk about the biggest baddest alpha male in all of historical romancedom. Yes I'm talking about Lord Beelzebub himself, the Bane and Blight of the Ballisters, that bad ass Victorian scoundrel Sebastian Leslie Guy de Ath Ballister, Earl of Blackmoor, Viscount Launcells, Baron Ballister and Luancells, and fourth Marquiss of Dain (um, yeah, those are all his titles).

When our intrepid heroine first meets Lord Dain she describes him thus:
Dain was heavy artillery, she thought...Coal black hair and bold, black eyes and a great, conquering Caesar of a nose and a sullen sensuality of a mouth--the face alone entitled him to direct lineage with Lucifer...As to the body...She had half expected a hulking gorilla. She had not been prepared for a stallion: big and splendidly proportioned--and powerfully muscled, if what his snug trousers outlined was any indication.
Oh my! *Lenora fans her rosy cheeks.*
The man on the cover looks nothing like Dain. For one thing he's way more 1980's than 1880's with that feathered hair and those high waisted pants. Come to think of it he looks remarkably like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

Here's my Dain recipe:
Two parts Adrien Brody (that nose! those brooding eyes!)

One part Clive Owen (that sensual mouth! the manly swagger!)

And a dash (just a dash mind you!) of Hugh Jackman (um, pecs, hello!)

OK that's all the alpha male I'm dishing up this evening.
Have you read Lord of Scoundrels? If you haven't get thee to a bookstore unholy wench!